Flow

Consistency Step 1 – 11-16-23

Always starting over, and that's all right.

Things that are working now:
  • Getting kiddo to school early. She likes to eat breakfast and we aren't rushed getting out of the house.
  • Deleting Reddit from my phone. Leaving Reddit in new web design on the website and not logging in (I hate reading the new site)
  • Baby steps
  • Remoting into primary PC and doing most work there
  • Comixology for comics
  • Low carb diet is feeling great. I've reduced overeating and I don't feel hungry all the time.
Things that aren't working:
  • Thinking I'll write at the end of the work day
  • Going to bed too late.
  • Not doing some sort of consistent writing every day.
  • Being sick
  • Taking care of others and not prioritizing myself (VA Claim, new glasses, etc)

Consumption vs Creation

I spend too much time distracted, both by things that deserve my attention, like my child, and things that don't, like Reddit.
Sitting down at the computer or pulling out my phone and navigating to a site like Reddit or YouTube is asking the internet to fill my brain with sludge. The only intention is to be distracted, to not have to think for a while, to get caught up in someone else's drama so I don't have to think about my own problems.
I wish I could stay focused on what I need to write. Someone asked me if I still enjoy writing and I do, a lot. But I take it seriously and it's hard to just sit down and do it. I have to put myself out of the mindset and simply make something, mold some clay, I guess. It's hard. Everywhere I look is an invitation to consume mindlessly, to turn off my brain.
I've managed to control my love of alcohol. I have my calories under control. It's time to get rid of Reddit.